The chicken debate

The cashier at Kroger was scanning my groceries while chit chatting with the lad who was packing the goodies in plastic bags.

"I thought y' all don't eat chickin." The young African American said, taking me by surprise.

I looked at him to make sure he was talking to me, so he thought I did not understand. Then, he moved his index finger in a circular shape around his face, referring to my head scarf.

"Oh! Yes we do eat chicken. And beef too. We don't eat pork though."

"I don't care what you eat or don't."

"But you asked..."

"Yeah, listen, I don't care if your religion tell yah you can't touch me or anythin. We touch your food while we're handling it, you know. I don't care if I am in the middle of the desert and there is no food but pork..."

"In that case, my religion tells me it's ok to eat whatever I need to keep myself alive." I replied thinking, duh! are there pigs in the desert?

"Well I don't believe in God or judgement day or life after death, but I don't understand how a woman walks in the store with her face uncovered, and when she gets to me she covers her face; I saw your face when you were comin in, I told her."

"Muslims are diverse in the degree of their religious commitment and practice and many have practices that are more cultural than religious." I said while I took my receipt and pushed my cart out of the store.

A discussion with an atheist

Once I settled into my seat aboard an airbus A 340 from Dallas/Fort Worth to Frankfurt, Germany, I turned to greet the woman sitting next to me. She looked at me with light blue eyes and her fair complexion lightened through a soft shy smile. A smile that led me to start a long conversation; one that lasted through the ten hours flight.

Anna, a Russian who spoke clear and perfect English as well as three more languages, has been living for a few years in Texas with her German husband and two sons. When she mentioned how her parents let her read a children's Bible in secret while she lived in Russia, I naively asked her how she felt now that she could freely practice Christianity.

"I'm an atheist." She said.

"An atheist as in you don't believe in God?"

"Right, I believe there is no God." She answered with a compassionate smile.

Many thoughts raced through my head as I tried to tresspass her blue eyes and absorb what she just said. I had a choice to wrap up the conversation right then and there and focus on the novel I had in my hands. But I felt I wanted to learn more.

"Forgive me if I am intruding on you."

"Not at all." She said.

"Well if you believe there is no God, then who do you think created me and you and the whole universe?"

"Nature grew by itself and we, humans, have evolved with nature to this current form."

"So you believe humans were apes?"

"That is exactly what I believe." She answered with the same compassionate smile.

"O.K. then, but who sustains the univere and our bodies? Like, who makes sure your heart will keep beating and your lungs will keep functioning, you know..."

"It's still nature with its complex process." She then added: "I know it is hard for you to understand and believe."

"You bet! I have a stubborn doctrine encraved on my soul and it surely tells me God is my creator."

"Same with me except my doctrine denies the existence of God."

"So what happens to humans when they die?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing? You mean just like an infinite sleep."

"Sort of."

Anna responded to many more questions I had, and whenever she asked me any questions, they were more about the culture and traditions of Muslims, not about the beliefs. Her answers did not seem logical to me, they certainly did not make common sense as they seemed to have come from emptiness. I asked her if she belonged to any atheist community and she said she did not.

"So you don't think you need the support of a community who shares your beliefs?"

"Not necessarily."

"But don't you need faith and spirituality to lift your spirits up, boost your energy, give you hope, and ease your bad times?"

"I don't think I need spirituality as I get my energy most of the time from my own strength."

"How is that?"

"Well if I have a problem, I keep telling myself that no matter what I do that problem is going to remain. So I hold on to my will power and remain patient until the hardship goes away."

I thought that the lady had some nerves of steel. I liked her eloquence and discipline, I admired her modesty especially when she told me she opposed using maids to clean her house in order to avoid social exploitation, and I wondered how such an educated woman with a rich cultural experience could simply not believe in God.

It was ironical that there I was seated on a plane over thirty thousands of feet away from earth, much closer to Heavens, much in need to God's mercy, and this woman seated next to me did not acknowledge His blessings. What surprised me was that our conversation continued on and on with mutual pleasure.

At the end of the trip, I told her that I needed God in my life. I surely do. When I finally landed in Germany, I thanked God for having bestowed faith upon me. Anna seemed to be a happy woman who had a code of ethics that she lived by. So did I. But when it came to the most important thing in my life, we were opposites. Yet, we tolerated each other and even respected each other. I said goodbye to Anna and wished her well and remembered the Quranic verse: "You have your belief, I have my religion." (Chapter 109, verse 6.)

How do you perceive Muslim Women?

Do you have a certain viewpoint of Muslim women? Is it a stereotypical image influenced by news scenes from poor Muslim countries devastated by wars? Or is it a “don’t know, don’t care” attitude? Or maybe you are someone who’s always wondered why on earth do these ladies cover their heads when it is so hot.

Muslim women in my community are very interesting; they represent a garden salad mix. Many people misjudge us as being oppressed by our husbands and fathers, and restricted to a dress code. On the contrary, Muslim women are unique with their outstanding line of fashionable apparel and accessories. They are as diverse as the flowers of a botanical garden. I’m not kidding! On one hand, you find women covered up in caftans, jilbabs, and traditional dresses, covering everything but face and hands. Another fashion line represents those who wear modern Western attire like trendy jeans or slacks and a loose fashion blouse. Many are flamboyant, outgoing, and plucky as they take fashion to extremes with their matching scarves. Then you have the simple women who dress modestly in a western style. But beware, not all Muslim women are covered! You can find a modest conservative Muslim woman who does not cover her hair, and then you are very likely to be bewildered by flashy, liberal women whom you won’t even recognize as Muslim.

On one of our community picnic gatherings last April, a group of women sat under a covered picnic area. I looked at the different faces, each glittering with joy and charm. One was popping jokes, the other one was peeling sunflower seeds, a third one was sipping coffee, but they all shared one common feature: their big, huge, sunglasses. These over-sized shapes have huge dark lenses and wide frames, usually with a brand name screaming at you: “look at me.” Well, the flow of conversation was smoothly sailing from one subject to another until someone said something that triggered my memory faculty.

“Oh…Were you ladies wearing these over-sized sunglasses when the troopers pulled you over?”

Here is the anecdote, and it doesn’t happen every day, so enjoy it. During spring break, a group of women decided they wanted to take the kidos on an escapade to Fossil Rim, a safari wildlife center. Mini vans, Suburbans, and Hummers loaded with half a dozen women and a dozen children took off on Interstate 20. Suddenly, the story goes, four police cruisers flashed their lights behind the caravan, commanding them to stop on the service road. Friendly patrol officers politely asked for proof of insurance and drivers licenses. Since all documents were legitimate, the troopers released the drivers. One outspoken woman wanted to know what that was all about.

“A driver saw you ladies and thought you were wearing masks and called us.” The officer apologized.

“What masks?”

“Uh, I think it’s the head scarf and big sunglasses combination.”

Moral of the story: Do you still think Muslim women’s rights are restricted? As far as I know, these ladies’ husbands don’t even dare to ask them where they’re going or when they’re coming back home. That adventure by the way ended at ten p.m. after a big fun day, I was told.

Knock! Knock! Who's there? It's Me!

"Lady, if we don't have it on the shelves, then we don't have it at all," the saleswoman at the luggage department slowly spelled out the words out of her mouth.

"But can't you check the backroom for more? I really need two identical suitcases."

She stared at me and repeated: "If we don't have it on the shelves, then we don't have it at all."

I froze and she thought I still did not understand. But I understood every word she said and even every word she did not say. I smiled, thanked her, and left.

That was a snippet of one of my shopping adventures while preparing for my yearly visit to the Middle East. Every summer for the past seventeen years, I have been taking an across the oceans trip to Egypt where my parents live. Two weeks after I settle, I start whining about going back home to Texas. I would soon forgive people like the saleswoman at the luggage department and long to go back to my routine life.

True! I am a Muslim woman who lives in America, I wear the Muslim head covering "hijab" while going around town running my daily errands. When people give me "the look," I smile and shy away. Who am I? I'm Muslim by birth, American by choice.I'm an American Muslim.